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 Posted:   May 13, 2019 - 7:43 PM   
 By:   'Lenny Bruce' Marshall   (Member)

If it's already been posted,fee free not to laugh

Did you hear about the woman who fell asleep on the synagogue steps and woke up with a heavy dew on her


I don't geddit

 
 Posted:   May 13, 2019 - 7:45 PM   
 By:   'Lenny Bruce' Marshall   (Member)

Q. What animals live in the French mountains and take over your laptop?

A. Alp hackers


Mierde

 
 
 Posted:   May 14, 2019 - 5:03 AM   
 By:   stalemate12   (Member)

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu!

 
 
 Posted:   May 14, 2019 - 5:16 AM   
 By:   Tall Guy   (Member)

Q. What animals live in the French mountains and take over your laptop?

A. Alp hackers


Mierde



Merde it might be, but it's original merde.

 
 Posted:   May 14, 2019 - 7:28 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

If it's already been posted,fee free not to laugh

Did you hear about the woman who fell asleep on the synagogue steps and woke up with a heavy dew on her


I don't geddit




Dew/Jew if that helps

 
 Posted:   May 14, 2019 - 7:28 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

If it's already been posted,fee free not to laugh

Did you hear about the woman who fell asleep on the synagogue steps and woke up with a heavy dew on her


I don't geddit




Dew/Jew if that helps

 
 Posted:   May 14, 2019 - 6:51 PM   
 By:   'Lenny Bruce' Marshall   (Member)

If it's already been posted,fee free not to laugh

Did you hear about the woman who fell asleep on the synagogue steps and woke up with a heavy dew on her


I don't geddit




Dew/Jew if that helps


Dew Jews walk into a bar...the first one says. "...

 
 Posted:   May 17, 2019 - 11:29 AM   
 By:   dtw   (Member)

Where can you find no squid?

The Calamari Desert.

 
 Posted:   May 17, 2019 - 1:05 PM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

Where can you find no squid?

The Calamari Desert.


big grin

But at least you'll never be hungry in the desert what with all the sandwiches (sand which is) there.

 
 Posted:   May 20, 2019 - 12:57 PM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

The difference between a traditional and a Southern (USA) fairy tale:
A traditional fairy tale begins: "Once upon a time".
A Southern fairy tale begins: "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t!"

 
 Posted:   May 24, 2019 - 12:00 PM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

A dentist said to the lady "Open wide." She did. He said, "Wow, that's big!" "Wow, that's big!"
The lady said, "Well, you didn't have to say it twice!"
Said the dentist, "I only said it ONCE!"

 
 
 Posted:   May 24, 2019 - 1:07 PM   
 By:   Tall Guy   (Member)

A dentist said to the lady "Open wide." She did. He said, "Wow, that's big!" "Wow, that's big!"
The lady said, "Well, you didn't have to say it twice!"
Said the dentist, "I only said it ONCE!"


Nice - subtle.

 
 Posted:   May 24, 2019 - 1:20 PM   
 By:   BillCarson   (Member)

I heard that before. Im sure it was someone other than a dentist!! wink

 
 Posted:   May 24, 2019 - 3:19 PM   
 By:   Justin Boggan   (Member)

Eh.

Now if "dentist" had been changed to "proctologist", readers who thought this was naturally a dentist joke, would have been caught off guard.

 
 Posted:   Jun 26, 2019 - 7:38 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

How do you know if someone's a vegan?

They tell you. Again, and again, and again, and again. big grin

 
 Posted:   Jun 26, 2019 - 10:49 AM   
 By:   'Lenny Bruce' Marshall   (Member)

How do you know if someone's a vegan?

They tell you. Again, and again, and again, and again. big grin



" I don't eat meat".

" Ohhhhh! Good for you!"

 
 Posted:   Jun 26, 2019 - 11:54 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

Harvey visits the set of his production company’s film set in an area of the desert so remote it is only accessible by helicopter or camel.
After a few days, his urges are getting the best of him, so he asks his most trustworthy gofer,
“Hey, you guys have been out here for months now, so what do you do when you need some ‘action’, know what I mean?”
“I get ya, sir, well, we usually just hop on ol’ Mabel the camel there…”
“No, I think I’ll pass.”
“Okay, sir, whatever you say.”
Several nights later Harvey can’t stand it any longer. In the wee hours the gofer and others are awakened to the most godawful bellows and groans that sound like Mabel is being attacked. They rush to the location of the sounds and they find Harvey has her in his tent. All are repulsed by what they see.
“Sir, what the…?”
“Hey, you know that was kinda kinky, but I’ve had worse!”
“Sir, you never let me finish – we hop on ol’ Mabel and ride her a few miles over the ridge to the village where there’s a pretty decent brothel!”

 
 Posted:   Jun 26, 2019 - 1:18 PM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his wife off the wall.....


because he wanted to see her crack.

 
 Posted:   Jun 26, 2019 - 1:24 PM   
 By:   Justin Boggan   (Member)

Where do old eggs go?

The old yokes home.

 
 Posted:   Jul 2, 2019 - 7:41 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

For those who remember the ad campaign-

What has a hazelnut in every bite- Squirrel shit.
That was a classic when I was at school

 
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