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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell .was that all about?’...+.....,,[/
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I made one up many years ago, too:
Q: Why do midgets always get the short end of the stick?
A: Because the can't carry the long one!
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One of my favorite New Yorker cartoons: Two snails on a turtle's back. The turtle is... just... getting... underway... when one snail says to the other, "Hang on to your hat, here we go!"
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After years on this Board, I'm finally going to ask: What's the story with those black redacting bars? I seem to see them when they're covering up a spoiler or something naughty. Does the Sheriff put the bars there, or is it self-censorship, or what?
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Its also where if i make a mistake i get rid of it with a black marker pen!! 
Think of the hours of fun you can have with it, preston.
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I came up with this one last night:
Q: Which film director suffered from jock itch?
A: Alfred Itchcock.
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Posted: |
Jun 18, 2018 - 9:28 AM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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Two German Shepherds are in kennels in a Vet’s office:
GS 1: Hey, buddy, why are you in here?
GS 2: To get neutered.
GS 1: Bummer!
GS 2: Yeah, well, it isn’t totally my fault. My owners’ best friends came for a visit and brought their spaniel with them. They should have known she was in heat! So, they put the two of us in the bathroom so we wouldn’t disturb their card game, and well, I just couldn’t resist! We made quite a commotion and they were furious when they saw what we were doing, so here I am! What about you?
GS 1: Actually, my story is kinda similar. I was lying on the floor of my owner’s bedroom when she came in from taking her shower, buck naked, tripped over me and fell to the floor on her hands and knees. Well, like you said, I “just couldn’t resist!”
GS 2: Oh, my dog! You did that?!?! So, you’re here to get neutered too?
GS 1: Nope, to get my nails trimmed.
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)
