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Hey mate what's that animal lying in the road?
Oh that's Kippy.
Kippy?
Yeah mate - Kippy, the bushed kangaroo.
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Posted: |
Nov 13, 2020 - 9:57 AM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat, closed his eyes and began to doze.
As the plane rolled out on the tarmac, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:“Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the plane. Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with ‘that Kevin from the accounting office’. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life. Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!” Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.
When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, “Sue, hang up the d*mned phone and come back to bed!” Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any more.
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.” The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?” The young guy says, “Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?" To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.”
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