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I a thank you....
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We are a week into self isolation and it’s very upsetting for me to witness my wife standing at the living room window staring aimlessly into space, with tears running down her cheeks. It breaks my heart to see her like this.
I’ve thought very hard of how I can cheer her up.
I’ve even considered letting her come in.... but rules are rules. 
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Not one of my originals but deserves a wider audiencw--
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth tubes up his nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
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I had a prick test last week. Turns out there’s an 85% chance I am one.[/endquote
Only 85%.
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15% margin of error.
Fair enough,
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Good one joan. X
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This cleaning with alcohol is bullshit.After the first bottle nothing gets done.
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Why are three men after the gold in the good, the bad, and the ugly?
Because it's more than two-can-carry
Why did Julius Caesar go to the Doctor?
He had attacks of Gaul Stones and Brittany Spears
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Why are three men after the gold in the good, the bad, and the ugly?
Because it's more than two-can-carry
As Bruce would say, doesnt quite work as Tucumcari was For a few dollars more. 
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What's the difference between Dirty Harry and anal sex?
One makes your day the other makes your hole weak!
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Why are three men after the gold in the good, the bad, and the ugly?
Because it's more than two-can-carry
As Bruce would say, doesnt quite work as Tucumcari was For a few dollars more.
Shame, I would have given you a fi$tful of dollar$ not to mention that!
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