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Posted: |
Feb 11, 2018 - 12:58 PM
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By: |
edwzoomom
(Member)
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(More school observations over many years.)
CANNIBALS
He pushes her into the lockers,
tongue filling her throat
until I intrude, sending them to class.
She proudly leaves,
somebody defined as
clearly as the outline
of a black felt pen
by holding his hand in halls.
Not heeding my warnings,
lunch in his back seat
is all she know of happiness.
The four-five letter labels
her peers have safety pinned
to her budding body
hang like a kite’s leaden tail.
He’ll leave, pluck fresher fruit.
She’ll wheel, arms empty only
an instant, ripe prey to
the always waiting pack.
One day too soon, ignorantly
puffed by the new label “mother,”
this child with child will
look for others to define
her existence, forever
climbing into back seats,
always sadly believing
the male language of cannibals.
(Not all males, of course.)
Wow joan. Powerful.
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Thank you all! Just came to me in a furious Seuss-inspired frenzy!
Yeah. Seuss is a big influence on my "work" also!
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So.
Farewell then.
Comp...
Er ...never mind that shit, Mongo's back!
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Afghanistan Bananastand
Quincy Jones is the man
Some are upset that he swears like a sailor
But would they object if his skin was paler?
Bruce Marshall
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I believe the children
are our future
Teach them well and
let them lead the way
show them all the beauty
they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride
to make it easier
let the children's laughter
remind us how we used to be
everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me...
its just a rough draft atm guys.
I think it needs some work.
Im not sure but i think line 4 and line 8 seem a bit strained.
And some of it seems a bit, well, cliche`d.
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its just a rough draft atm guys.
I think it needs some work.
Im not sure but i think line 4 and line 8 seem a bit strained.
And some of seems a bit, well, cliche`d.
Don’t bring me rough drafts - I demand the finished article! (And I thought we had it, pal, from the heart)
By George, it would be my greatest love to get it polished off, TG. 
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I quite like jackfu's theme, with its hint of Aurans and akabar!
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I don't think is it clichéd, Bill. It is just a bit too Whitney Houstenish. .
perhaps, joanie. I think youre right, Not as it stands but with the work of a songwriter, arranger, composer, it possibly could be tweaked into a ballad.
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