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Non-Film Score Discussion
:
Favourite One-Liners
Last Post
Posted:
Nov 25, 2020 - 2:07 AM
By:
Hurdy Gurdy
(Member)
They scoffed when I told them I’d one day learn the secret of invisibility; if they could only see me now.
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!
I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.
I’m sure wherever my dad is; he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.
Surely every car is a people carrier?
I never lie on my CV…because it creases it.
I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine.
There's plenty more here...(they cheer me up). Enjoy!
https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-reviews/top-100-jokes-edinburgh-festival-6351317
https://inews.co.uk/light-relief/jokes/edinburgh-fringe-one-liners-best-jokes-170356
Posted:
Nov 25, 2020 - 7:27 AM
By:
Prince Damian
(Member)
Velcro, what a rip off.
Posted:
Nov 25, 2020 - 8:13 AM
By:
Bill Carson, Earl of Poncey
(Member)
Apparently, tampons arent a "proper present"
Posted:
Nov 25, 2020 - 2:00 PM
By:
Sir David of Garland
(Member)
If I say you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Posted:
Nov 25, 2020 - 2:29 PM
By:
Tall Guy
(Member)
I asked my girlfriend if she’d help me indulge my footwear fetish. She shooed me off.
Posted:
Nov 27, 2020 - 7:04 AM
By:
Prince Damian
(Member)
Uri Gellar, remarkably hard to stab.
Posted:
Nov 27, 2020 - 7:10 AM
By:
Rameau
(Member)
Unfortunately he drowned in a vat of cake mix. It wasn't very deep, but the currents were very strong.
Posted:
Nov 27, 2020 - 8:50 AM
By:
Jim Phelps
(Member)
“If you want to fit in with society you have to wear ugly sneakers.”
~Overheard, 1999
Posted:
Nov 28, 2020 - 4:38 PM
By:
Nightingale
(Member)
Someone broke into my house and stole all my anti-depressants! Well, whoever he is, I hope he's happy....
Posted:
Nov 28, 2020 - 11:20 PM
By:
barryfan
(Member)
No one goes there anymore. It's too crowded!
Posted:
Nov 29, 2020 - 11:13 AM
By:
Tall Guy
(Member)
When I die, cremate me wearing a Manchester United shirt. Something good might as well come of it.
Posted:
Nov 30, 2020 - 1:44 PM
By:
agentMaestraX
(Member)
Hospitals don't send paraplegics home by bus.
Posted:
Nov 30, 2020 - 1:52 PM
By:
agentMaestraX
(Member)
It's never too late to do nothing.
Posted:
Dec 2, 2020 - 3:53 AM
By:
Jehannum
(Member)
I'm starting a breatharian buffet restaurant. All you can't eat for £15.
Posted:
Dec 2, 2020 - 5:19 AM
By:
Adventures of Jarre Jarre
(Member)
You can get a couple things or two.
Non-Film Score Discussion
:
Favourite One-Liners
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