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 Posted:   Dec 19, 2019 - 9:42 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

Did you hear about the man who didn't know the difference between putty and dog shit - all his windows fell out

 
 Posted:   Dec 19, 2019 - 9:51 AM   
 By:   Justin Boggan   (Member)

Did you hear about the dyslexic who questioned his faith? He wasn't sure if there was a Dog.

 
 
 Posted:   Dec 24, 2019 - 1:42 AM   
 By:   Tall Guy   (Member)

Christmas carols before sanitisation:

“If I were a shepherd / I would bring some lamb.”

 
 Posted:   Jan 19, 2020 - 12:11 PM   
 By:   Adam B.   (Member)

OK. Time for a visual joke.

The nine Star Wars scores are the centerpiece of my John Williams collection! (rimshot!)



(my lame jokes are always so time consuming)

 
 Posted:   Jan 24, 2020 - 6:02 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

A weasel walks into a bar.
"What'll ya have?", goes the bartender.
"Pop!", goes the weasel.

 
 Posted:   Feb 10, 2020 - 9:16 AM   
 By:   madmovyman   (Member)

During a visit to the mental asylum, he asked the director,
"how do you determine whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized?"

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a thimble,
a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub..."

"Oh, I understand," he said. "a normal person would use the bucket
because it's bigger than the thimble or the cup."

"No," said the director, "a normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"

 
 Posted:   Feb 10, 2020 - 9:19 AM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

During a visit to the mental asylum, he asked the director,
"how do you determine whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized?"

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a thimble,
a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub..."

"Oh, I understand," he said. "a normal person would use the bucket
because it's bigger than the thimble or the cup."

"No," said the director, "a normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"


big grin

Thanks! You made my morning!

 
 Posted:   Feb 12, 2020 - 3:47 PM   
 By:   Adam B.   (Member)

Saw this on Twitter. Nasty NASA.

 
 Posted:   Feb 12, 2020 - 4:06 PM   
 By:   Justin Boggan   (Member)

And to learn more about it, make sure to look up Uranus.















(this won't be difficult for some of you)

 
 Posted:   Feb 14, 2020 - 8:44 AM   
 By:   theMaestraX   (Member)

Q: How many OPTICIANS does it take to change a lightbulb?????
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A: Is it ONE or TWO, (whilst a hand covers over left eye, then right eye, then left eye again) ONE or TWO!

 
 Posted:   Feb 15, 2020 - 5:38 AM   
 By:   Damian   (Member)

Paddy takes two stuffed dogs to the antiques roadshow.
ooh! Said the presenter,these are a very rare breed.Do you know what they would fetch if they were in good condition.
Sticks replied Paddy.

 
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