What happened to the good ole days when we were so tough we ate Tide powder straight from the box? These kids nowadays, the softies, with their Tide pods! Feh!
I got these silly questions in an e mail from a friend. Thought you might enjoy a few of them.
Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke? Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage? EVER WONDER... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
When did film end credits get so ridiculous? I was watching Raya and the Last Dragon and there's credits for "Out Reach Program", "Security" and "Production Babies".
Why are resealable package cheese so damn hard to open to begin with?
Why are you using those damned awful things to begin with?
Not that awful processed yellow cheese each in its own wrap. Actual cheese that's sliced and prepackaged.
Oh, yes, that's not as bad. Is that the kind of package where you have to cut the top carefully with scissors so you don't slice into the ziplock? These days I'm simply buying a block of Jarlsberg and cutting my own pieces. It just seems...fresher.
Why are resealable package cheese so damn hard to open to begin with?
Why are you using those damned awful things to begin with?
Not that awful processed yellow cheese each in its own wrap. Actual cheese that's sliced and prepackaged.
Oh, yes, that's not as bad. Is that the kind of package where you have to cut the top carefully with scissors so you don't slice into the ziplock? These days I'm simply buying a block of Jarlsberg and cutting my own pieces. It just seems...fresher.
Yep, that's the kind. I'm to lazy to wait in a deli line. Actually I hate deli lines.
Why are resealable package cheese so damn hard to open to begin with?
Why are you using those damned awful things to begin with?
Not that awful processed yellow cheese each in its own wrap. Actual cheese that's sliced and prepackaged.
Oh, yes, that's not as bad. Is that the kind of package where you have to cut the top carefully with scissors so you don't slice into the ziplock? These days I'm simply buying a block of Jarlsberg and cutting my own pieces. It just seems...fresher.
Yep, that's the kind. I'm to lazy to wait in a deli line. Actually I hate deli lines.
Deli lines? I just snap up a block of cheese at Trader Joe's in that particular section. Usually three times cheaper than the supermarket or, I'm sure, a delicatessen.
Why are resealable package cheese so damn hard to open to begin with?
Why are you using those damned awful things to begin with?
Not that awful processed yellow cheese each in its own wrap. Actual cheese that's sliced and prepackaged.
Oh, yes, that's not as bad. Is that the kind of package where you have to cut the top carefully with scissors so you don't slice into the ziplock? These days I'm simply buying a block of Jarlsberg and cutting my own pieces. It just seems...fresher.
Yep, that's the kind. I'm to lazy to wait in a deli line. Actually I hate deli lines.
Deli lines? I just snap up a block of cheese at Trader Joe's in that particular section. Usually three times cheaper than the supermarket or, I'm sure, a delicatessen.
Ive heard of Trader Joe's but never been to one. I thought it was a sporting/hunting supply store.
