Q: How many OPTICIANS does it take to change a lightbulb????? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A: Is it ONE or TWO, (whilst a hand covers over left eye, then right eye, then left eye again) ONE or TWO!
Paddy takes two stuffed dogs to the antiques roadshow. ooh! Said the presenter,these are a very rare breed.Do you know what they would fetch if they were in good condition. Sticks replied Paddy.
Q: How many OPTICIANS does it take to change a lightbulb????? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A: Is it ONE or TWO, (whilst a hand covers over left eye, then right eye, then left eye again) ONE or TWO!
Warning! Adult content! A young couple lived in a neighbor hood that was becoming more crime-ridden over time. One day the wife, who was pregnant with triplets was at home when two cars drove by side by side, with crooks in both cars shooting at each other. Bullets were sprayed everywhere and three passed through the front wall of the couple’s house, three of them striking her. She awoke in a hospital room hours later and filled with dread at the thought of the fate of her triplets. Her doctor told her, “You are very fortunate as are your triplets. The bad news is that each of them were hit by a bullet and the bullets are inoperable. The good news is no harm will come to either of them, and in the years to come, their bodies will pass the bullets via either their urinary or intestinal processes – nothing to worry about. Two months later, she gave birth to two healthy girls and one healthy boy. Years pass and the family is living happily in a new and safe neighborhood. Nothing had been said to the children about what had happened. Suddenly one afternoon, a daughter, aged 13 now, came screaming into her mother, “MOM! I was urinating and passed a bullet!!!”. “It’s okay, honey.”, said Mom and explained how it happened. Two years later the other daughter came into the living room shouting, “MOM! I was urinating and passed a bullet!!!”. “It’s okay, honey.”, said Mom and explained the situation. One evening a year later, the son, now 16, came blasting into the kitchen, shouting, “MOM! I was…”, “It’s okay, honey, you were urinating and passed a bullet, right?” “NO! I was in my bedroom wh@cking off and I shot the dog!!!”
In math class in high school the test stated: “Train A leaves Cleveland at 10:00 AM, traveling West at 50 mph. Train B leaves Lincoln, Nebraska at 10:30 AM, traveling East at 60 mph. Where will they meet and at what time?” “I HATE these kind of problems!”, I thought and so I glanced over at my friend’s desk and he wrote “I don’t know.” I gave up and wrote “Me neither.” How did the teacher know I cheated?
Why Did the ANTIFAcrat Cross the Road? Because the chickensh*t, cowardly, mask-wearing, mama’s-basement-living POS had an important meeting with a Nissan Pickup!!! @ 1:27
