A young fellow decides to try his luck at ice fishing. He brings all his fishing tackle, drills a hole in the ice and waits…and waits…and waits and gets colder and colder. He frequently checks his bait and nothing, not a bite. He notices an older fellow nearby is really bringing them in and has soon caught his limit and starts to head home. The newby decides to ask about it. Pardon me, friend, I haven’t even had so much as a nibble all day and you’ve hit it big time! Would you tell me your secret?” The old fellow replies, “You gobla kleeb ya wumswam.” “I’m sorry but what?” “You gobla kleeb ya wumswam.” “I’m really sorry but what did you say?” With that the old fellow spits out a big blob of wriggling mass onto his hand. “You gotta keep your worms warm!”
Wife: "Hi, Honey, how was your day?" Hubby: "Rough." Wife: "Oh, sorry. Here, I have a drink ready for you." Hubby: "Thanks. Oh, by the way, I stopped by to see the lawyer and had my will changed." Wife: "Oh! Wait, let me get you a fresh drink."
A fella is involved in a serious accident and he wakes up in a hospital room afterwards. He has a feel around and when he lifts the blankets he sees his manhood is no more. A doctor walks in and says 'now I know you must be heartbroken that we had to remove it, but you're very lucky you're in THIS hospital, because we are doing the first Penile Replacement operations'. 'You mean I can have it back again...how?' Well, says the doctor, you can get the Basic Best of British model for 2 grand, the snaky Scotsman for 3 grand or the West Indies Wonder for 5 grand. Thanks doc, but me and the missus always discuss money matters between both of us. No problem, I'll go and get her from the waiting room says doc. 5 minutes pass and the doctor re-enters the room and asks 'well, what are you having? And the guy says 'a new kitchen'