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Posted: |
Feb 11, 2008 - 10:47 PM
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By: |
Josh
(Member)
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I still live at home with my mother, I don't own a car, I'm painfully plain-looking, I make less than $250 a week, and I go into spasms of barely-concealed terror around attractive women.
Yeah, what a catch!
You just described me at the time when I met my wife and soulmate, with whom I've now been together for over 10 years. It's time to change your outlook. You don't need to be Brad freakin' Pitt to get a girlfriend or even to get laid. All you need to do is swallow your pride and start talking to women. It may take a few tries, but you'll build up your skills with each successive attempt. I'm not talking about "womanizing" skills, but communication skills. With greater skills you'll gain confidence. I'm not sure where your self-doubt originates from, but don't despair, my friend! Just go out there and talk to women, and most importantly, put on an air of confidence, even if you have to fake it!
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I still live at home with my mother, I don't own a car, I'm painfully plain-looking, I make less than $250 a week, and I go into spasms of barely-concealed terror around attractive women.
Hey dude, there’s nothing wrong with living with your mother. Your parents are the most important people in your life, IMO. Both of mine are gone now.
It’s how you perceive yourself that stops you meeting a girl. You describe yourself as plain – beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And the women who want to know what you earn, they’re very shallow and not worth knowing and in the final analysis, they’ll end up being the ones alone or in poor relationships, bouncing from one to another.
Alter your own view of self, be self confident and say bollocks to everyone, ‘I yam what I yam’. Why should you give a stuff about what others think of you? I couldn’t give two hoots what peeps think of me. Don’t be a shrinking violet, raise yourself up and stand tall. You’re one of the good guys, a venerable Superman. Also why be afraid of women you find attractive? For all you know, they may consider themselves as you consider yourself! What can they do to you if you get chatting to them and maybe ask them out? They’re not going to kill you, are they? Unless they’re the female terminator from T3!
I too once thought I’d never find a gal but I’m getting married in May! 
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How about public transportation?
(sorry for going off-topic).
Could be risky, if Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves are onboard!
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It depends where you live. If you're in a place like New York or Boston or LA - then no. If you live in the suburbs, you're kinda screwed without a car.
How about public transportation?
(sorry for going off-topic).
Public transportation in rural, open areas is scattered at best. In cities, it's easier, but depending on the place could be dangerous and depressing. I live just outside New York City and you need a car to get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time. It's not impossible to find love when you don't own a car, but it is easier in a city setting.
The real issue here is self esteem. Our friend Jack doesn't have any. I gotta tell you, Mr Jack I'm not so hot, but I found my soul mate 14 years ago and we've been together since. She's a great girl and I'd never trade her. But I also lived with my parents, had (and still have) social anxiety disorcer and was piss poor. I did have a car, but if I could have met her there otherwise, it wouldn't have mattered. Love is love.
You have the power to change your life. You've been complaining about your low income job for two years, have you made any effort to better your situation? Going by your post in the previous thread, you're 34ish. I can understand why you feel weird living with your parents, but in today's world, it's too damned expensive to live on your own so it's reasonable to live at home to save money.
Now, about that job. Jack, there are better paying entry level jobs out there than grocery bagger (in todays "bag your own" society, do you still do this?). You can work in offices sorting mail, making copies, creating files and then start working your way up. It can still be done (I did it). There are always reasons to NOT do something. Face the challenge, Jack, and find a way to DO something.
Do you have a driver's license? If not, get one. If you do, can you borrow your parent's car once in a while? You live in Massachusetts, so you're not in The Sticks. There must be some place to meet people. How about singles ads? I met my wife that way.
Oh, is your profile picture one of you? If so, you're too hard on yourself.
Jack, I do sympathize, but you have some options and the power to make changes. But if you don't, if you continue to do nothing while complaining about your life, then really, it's your own fault. You have to ditch the self-pity and work on your self esteem.
You'll tough out Thursday and then work on that. It's your only way out.
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I wish I got off that easy. My gal got a Coach bag. However, on the other side, I got some realllly sweet Bose Noise Canceling Headphones. Holy Crap, I hear levels to scores I never noticed before. :-)
Actually, we don't normally go this extravagant on Valentine's Day, but we were broke at Christmas, so we made up for it.
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And you've got more money that I do. Haha!! 
