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I do what I can
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"Hurting people hurt people." I don't know where that quote originated, but it is the truth. People who are in pain, be it physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or all of the above, tend to spread that pain through anger and bitterness, into the lives of anyone and everyone. Our world is engulfed in pain and suffering, and many of the individuals who come to this meeting place dump their verbal garbage all over this site. Somehow it seems to satisfy a need in them to cause hurt in others, as they are hurting. There's another old adage: "Misery loves company." It certainly does. I have been guilty of this behavior on a few occasions, but in most cases I endeavor to bring a spirit of laughter and joy here instead. I see this place as a mission field, and my mission is to attempt to bring some laughter into the lives of a few lonely, hurting people.
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What's that old phrase, Misery Loves Company. The thing is, we all share this interesting hobby, film music. That is something we ALL agree on. Things we differ on are the small potatoes, who's the best composer? What's the best score by this composer? Etc. etc. Each of us have our own opinions and if you are open to learning you may actually learn a thing or two on here. For me, I wasn't the biggest John Powell fan. I just wasn't getting his music, then after reading so many posts by folks and learning from them why they like it, I dived in to his music and I finally saw it, or shall I say heard it. BUT the thing was, I was open to suggestions and learning, I didn't just have an opinion of I DON'T LIKE HIM, THEN END and I won't listen to any of you, PERIOD. We all have our opinions and that's what makes us unique, but don't close the door so quickly on subjects, composers, scores that you usually would just say NO, and move on Let's face it, we're one big extended family ! Again this is just a forum that's it, but it's up to each person on what they take away from here to their daily lives. Me, I've moved away from the computer screen and my drivingmissdaisy screen name and have met many of you in person and have memories and friendships that will last me until the end of my days. I always try to keep the thought in my head of, "Would I say that to that persons face?" If what I'm about to type and then post is hurtful or mean or just unkind, "would I say that to that persons face?"
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That's it, MISS DAISY, consider yourself Ctrl/Alt/ DELETED !!!!!!
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Posted: |
Feb 2, 2013 - 3:12 PM
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By: |
manderley
(Member)
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One of the things that people posting here don't always recognize is that there are sometimes consequences from their postings. Sometimes these consequences are bad, but most of the time, if one is thoughtful, writes interestingly and has a positive demeanor, the consequences can be rewarding. From the time I began posting here more than 10 years ago, I have tried to post interesting and thoughtful information on various musical subjects and films, as well as remembrances of my years in the business, together---unfortunately for many---with terrible puns or comic one-liners, for seasoning. It's been fun for me and I hope others, too. Only occasionally have I blundered into an argument, but have made a point of withdrawing from those as quickly as possible. In several of those cases, I have made new friends of my opponents. I am grateful for that. Because of the general anonymity of this board, one never quite knows who is responding. We sometimes speculate on who reads and posts on this board, but we can never know for sure. That was brought home to me one morning last Spring when I received an eMail in my box, from an internet handle I did not recognize. The letter was several paragraphs long and spoke of how the poster read the FSM Board regularly and had been a member for many years, but never actually posted to the site. Over those years he had discovered the postings by "Manderley," read them faithfully when he had time, and found them to be relevant to his life and interests. He wanted to see if we could have lunch together and chat about many of the things which interested us both. The writer was very generous in his comments to me and I will immodestly say that this eMail was a virtual fan letter to "Manderley." He had contacted Lukas with a request for my address and Lukas, considering the situation and his name, had granted it. When I read the writer's name at the end, I was stunned. Unfortunately, for reasons of personal privacy, I am sorry that I can't reveal who he is, but he is a very well-known musician, the winner of Grammys and Emmys, with a long career in the music end of the business. He is also delightful to chat with, we have a lot in common, as he suspected, and, by now, we have had several long lunches, talking about everything and everyone in show business, from the 1920s to the present. It has been a very rewarding friendship and one that never would have happened other than through this board. I am grateful to the Board for this connection, and for his outreach to me. So, I guess the salient point of all this is that the Board can be many things to you, depending on your own presence and attitudes toward it and its denizens. It can be cruel and harsh and unforgiving, or it can be rewarding and, maybe, life-changing if you open yourself up to the personalities and possibilities.
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Manderley, I have a nearly identical story to yours! For somewhere around twenty years or so, I have been close friends with Lois Carruth, who spent many years as Jerry Goldsmith's personal assistant. She doesn't mind my mentioning her name here. While she was still working for Jerry, she would lurk at these boards. She found her "favorite" posters, and I was one of them. One day, she contacted me, and we've been good friends ever since. We speak together on the phone every day, and I'm hoping to fly out to California later this year to meet her, face to face, for the first time. A GREAT friendship, and it all started right here.
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Yes we have alot of things to THANK LUKAS KENDELL, for bringing his dream to life. A dream many of us had ourselves.I think the problem is not there are any bad people who are on this board or ever was as much as misundertanding between us.There are too many people who just don't have a sense of humor here, they get hurt too easily, then the conflict begins. Hell i have been hit upon many times here and i will be in quiet solitude wonder WHY.Like OCTOBERMAN said, i never started anything, but i got hit often. So in defense one must hit back.We have to stick that tongue in our cheek more often, everyone will be better for it.But as my friend CHRISTOPHER KINSINGER stated there are people lurking here , we don't know who they are which is why i rather be known as Dan the man and leave it like that.But there are always new topics to discuss even though i know some people get annoyed by that.
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We consider Sir M far and away (if not up close and personal tho we aim to rectify that with our impending re-location to El Lay the end of this month) amongst this Board's sagest, most mellow voices who rarely majors in the minor subjects so much of the infantile nitwit nonsense which abounds here traffics in. And his shared scenario is an exemplary example to absorb if not actualize. The so-called anonymity the Outernet provides is merely a pretext for those to unfurl their aggressive bile in a manner all of us know they never have the Courage to engage in face-to-face. Somehow it impotently emboldens them to brandish forth these hurtful fusilages that reveal far more about their own psychological/emotional and Inhuman bankruptcy than they were or are aware of. This came to the fore for us a few years ago on The Other Syde when an entity from the mid-60s posted in caps "I HATE YOU". Yes, he's still around and no doubt he possesses traits that aren't necessarly loathsome - but anyone who can do THAT - to someone they've never met, know nothing about other than either they 'dislike' or are envious professionally-personally, personally-professionally or Both - is a carbon unit we never wanna (or will knowingly) countenance. There's a profoundly seductive if ultimately illusionary 'intimacy' the cyber world cultivates ... the general comments can be kind and just when you imagine there's some substance beneath the seeds previously planted, one realizes how fragile the whole foundation is when the pedestal THEY'VE put you on suddenly becomes shaky once you're revealed to be ... Human. You make mistakes, you cross boundaries you never thought existed, you're suddenly persona non grata and have inadvertently permanently 'offended' when you naively suddenly recognize ... wait a minnit, howcum this reactionary Judgment has appeared and you're now - if not the scum of the earth - then banished forever? In which case, one ventures on, wishes them well and realizes the true character and nature of someone is never revealed when it's convenient for them (and they can feel o'so good) - but when it's NOT and demands a maturity not based on emotional reaction. When imagination is required, when detachment is essential and you step back and give the person the benefit of the doubt rather than the damning doubt of the benefit because they 'dared' transgress out of innocence - not disrespect. Having said that, we'll also say this: There are those - and they Know who they are which we'll pay proper profound Appreciation to anon - whose paths you cross on this forum who (tho they've never 'met' you in the flesh, will fly to empower you with their allegiance in whichever manner might be needed, on levels never previously thought could be and with a generosity of spirit that renders one speechless in gratitude). [ What gets us is the vicious unforgivable remarks supposed 'Pros' make toward other Pros whose projects or casting or films or franchises or even the damn toothpaste they use gives them permission to unleash the kinda infective that makes one ashamed not only of them but FOR them. One wonders what's so woefully unbalanced in their happy UNhappiness that the necessity is there to assassinate other artists just because they don't agree with what they're in or doing or the direction they're heading in. ] These are the types of critters we don't care how 'talented' they are, what 'credentials' they may have or anything else because they've failed being the only kinda Success that truly matters: as an HONORABLE Human Being. Like Sir M, our tenure here has paid incredible dividends both personally and professionally in ways we never envisioned because nothing was done with an end result pay-off in mind ... merely hopefully sharing with others of kindred tastes (or not - disagreement is healthy; primal poison quite the contrary). And we've been wondrously gobsmacked to cultivate a couple of relationships that began as argumentative foes but have evolved to a current state that bespeaks even more wondrous collaborations in the future. Which is to say what? Hay, we're STILL makin' all this up as we go along.
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Was this thread spurred by a particular controversy (that must have passed me by) or just a general remark? Just curious. Nope. Came across this graphic and really felt it pertained to this forum and probably nearly ever other forum on the net I guess. Most know me as the guy who wants everyone to just get a long and be nicer to one another. Maybe this will encourage one person to post in a nicer way and avoid the name calling and possible walk away from a debate that is getting heated
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This thread is very nice, but sometimes we do have to look in ourselves and realize that by keeping on talking about the trolls and the good ones and the bad ones we must understand the to each one's own truth, We don't want to become snobs you know, Was there anyone on this board who we can say was or is really a bad guy. In respect to David Sones, even those who were banned from this board were they really evil?Yes GOLDSMITH RULZ was taken some issues to the extremes but when you really think about it, on certain topics we all are capable of doing that. Good and evil are strong words often used to freely in our society, Just too much misunderstanding here.By the way what happened to the following people. J,S WALSH, CUSHING/LEE, CLEVELAND SON, MATRIHAH ETC.
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DTM, with respect, it behooves us simply to say - unless we've been asleep with all six eyes open - rarely have the singular black and white terms of Good or Evil (let alone outright Bad) oft been attached to many (if any) individuals. Obnoxious consciously premeditated rude disrespect and intolerance to any or everything is another cup of tea entirely - when the only (in)Sensibility that matters is the Be-All End-All stance someone is advocating as if everyone else are idiots and they're the only ones to know what Truth is ... after a certain age, there are no excuses for that kinda intellectual abuse - nor do we shed any sympathy when such epic intolerance is met with equally judicious consequences. (File this under People Don't 'Get' Banned, They Get THEMSELVES Banned Department). Some simply have become lightning rods because of their own strong personality and/or opinions - we seem to have that in common with the Asgardian, for instance - which immediately triggers equally intense responses that thereby lead to escalating verbal duels. We daresay there are very few extant bereft of such stances but, generally speaking, most attempt to remain civil and at least consciously observant of others who don't see eye to eye (the truly explosive topics ala politics and religion are verboten for precisely the inevitable reason time and again it engenders unhallowed heat that would put Vesuvius to shame). Foundational fact is, NOTHING commented upon - whether favorite composers, scores, films or anything else - is monumental enuff to warrant what repeatedly ensues on this fractured forum (which is only emblematic of cyber space en masse). Is there any authoritative 'answer'? Doubt it. But the idea of considering the concept every time you pop into a thread to post anything imagine you're entering someone's home and how you'd conduct yourself - or reverse the visualization vis-a-vis they were entering yours - mayhap the entire tenor might undergo a substantial change. Not that we're holding our breath imagining any such scenario ...
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