Film Score Monthly
FSM HOME MESSAGE BOARD FSM CDs FSM ONLINE RESOURCES FUN STUFF ABOUT US  SEARCH FSM   
Search Terms: 
Search Within:   search tips 
You must log in or register to post.
  Go to page:    
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 7:58 AM   
 By:   Graham S. Watt   (Member)

Hello!

This question is mostly for the men, but any hirsute wimmin or hairy hermaphrodytes can of course join in. I don't sport a beard, but I have become rather bored with the look of my (usually) clean-shaven face over the past decades. So I have been thinking of perhaps beginning to wear a beard. Nothing extravagant - certainly not the unkempt "mad monk" look - but just a neatly-trimmed little goatee thing or something. And at my age it should come in with dignified little grey bits. I think Tall Guy has quite a nice one, so I'm aiming at something similar.

But I'm seeking people's advice before I start the experiment. Do you find that the maintenance for example is more trouble than it's worth? To keep it symmetrical for instance must take a bit of skill and patience... Thoughts?

However my biggest worry is that people tell me I am a rather sloppy eater. Clean-shaven, I'm usually aware when soup or tomato sauce dribbles down my chin, and I can secretly dab away the mess before anyone notices, but I'm concerned that I may not be aware of those little accidents should facial hair impede the sensation. Sometimes I imagine I'm in a restaurant pretending to be all posh, but there's a big stain of hardening food stuck onto my beard, or even full strands of spaghetti dangling off it and I don't know why people are trying not to laugh. I also have visions of, should I actually be aware of the mishap and am able to rectify the problem before it becomes restaurant-wide news, trying to wipe away the offending foodstuffs and finding that - horrors! - the napkin is made of paper and I end up thinking that I have remedied the little accident whilst in reality my chin is full of pieces of swinging spaghetti, tomato sauce AND bits of paper serviette which got torn off in the process.

Do please share your thoughts and experiences regarding this matter. Thanking you in advance.

 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 8:14 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

Had a beard from 1994-2000 and have one now since 2010. No instances of Gazpacho or Mustard ever remained after an eating session.

Don't worry 'bout a thing, Graham. Just concentrate on dented booklets, your dislike of Jazz, and Leo Messi's international failures.

 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 8:33 AM   
 By:   mastadge   (Member)

Sometimes. I look very young, and have a pretty round face, so a few days of scruff can really sharpen the lines of my face and a full beard can put a dozen years on me. So usually I'm within a week or two of clean shaven, but sometimes I let it grow out and sometimes for professional reasons I have to keep everything clean-shaven.

As for maintenance: yes, too much trouble. I'm willing to do basic maintenance to keep the beard from being a neckbeard, but daily trimming or sculpting or defining of edges is too much work. So I'm the lazy sod who lets it grow out, and then when it's too much, just gets rid of it a lets it start growing in again.

I've never, ever had a problem with things getting stuck in my beard, even when I was in full-on mountain man territory. And I'm also a sloppy eater -- mean time between stains on my shirts and ties is embarrassingly short. So I wouldn't worry too much about that.

 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 8:55 AM   
 By:   Ray Faiola   (Member)

No, but apparently John Travolta does!!

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 9:00 AM   
 By:   Tall Guy   (Member)

No, but apparently John Travolta does!!

big grin big grin big grin

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 9:09 AM   
 By:   Timmer   (Member)

You killed me Ray big grin

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 9:12 AM   
 By:   Tall Guy   (Member)

I think Tall Guy has quite a nice one, so I'm aiming at something similar.


How nice of you to say so...

To be honest, I only keep it on now because Mrs TG likes it - I assume because anything that helps to cover my face is a Good Thing. I'm getting a little bored with it after 10 years or so, but it goes in phases and I might be happy with it again in a few weeks.

Getting food caught in it hasn't been an issue - it's not really long enough for that - but occasionally toothpaste dribbles un-noticed into it and makes it even whiter.

It is a great excuse for having another gadget in the bedroom (don't take that the wrong way, you filthy lot) - and I do get some satisfaction from keeping it neat enough to still look professional. A decent trimmer makes it easy to keep it at the same length. I don't shape it at all, however so I don't know how easy it is to maintain a credible-looking goatee.

The single main reason for having it, however, is to avoid shaving every damn morning. I used to hate that routine, especially as I always struggled to find a pain-free lubricant. I used "King of Shaves" for the last few years B.B. (Before Beard) but even that had its moments.

I'd definitely recommend trying a beard at some stage - otherwise you'll never know how you'd look with one, something that baffled me for decades, and it might just be a revelation.

And if it's good enough for Jesus and his Dad.... smile

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 10:04 AM   
 By:   Francis   (Member)


However my biggest worry is that people tell me I am a rather sloppy eater.


You don't need a beard for that.



I have a beard for quite some time now, though I trim it down twice a week. I'm gotten accustomed to the look and can't live without it!

 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 10:10 AM   
 By:   mark ford   (Member)

I don't have one, but do have a mustache, one I've sported for over 30 years. Tried a beard several times, but there was too much gray in it so it made me look older. Don't want that.

The bad news about beards is that every poll I've ever seen where women are asked whether they like a man with a beard or not, show they overwhelming do not like beards. So take that into consideration if that might be an issue for you!

 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 11:31 AM   
 By:   Jehannum   (Member)

Yes, at the moment. A big fuck-off Frankie Boyle type. I might take a picture before I shave it off.

Until then here's Frankie with a reasonable approximation (size, not colour).

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 12:46 PM   
 By:   Vermithrax Pejorative   (Member)

It's weird the way some beards go all ginger and orange, even though the person sporting said beard does not have ginger hair!!!
The Spanish footballer Xavi Alonso and that 'comedian?' pictured above are cases in point.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 1:49 PM   
 By:   joan hue   (Member)

My husband had a mustache when I met and married him. Kept it for 30 years and finally shaved it off. I encouraged him to grow it back. He looked better with one. He thought about having a short beard for a while, but his firm said NO WAY. Check with your work place before growing a beard. Most are getting a bit more lenient about the subject.

 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 2:14 PM   
 By:   random guy   (Member)

Yep. Very short one on my chin. That's about it for facial hair

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 2:41 PM   
 By:   Michael24   (Member)

I tried having one a couple years ago because I got really sick of shaving. But I just can't grow a good beard. It sort of grows in patches and then never seems to actually fill out, so instead it kind of looks like it stopped halfway into growing. However, I do have a little goatee/mustache combo. Not really sure what it's called. It's not a Van Dyke because it's not pointed. I basically call it "the Oldman," because it looks like Gary Oldman's facial hair in Air Force One. big grin



I like that and have maintained it for many years now (except for 2004 and 2006, when I had to shave it for costuming reasons at ComicCon). Plus, I kind of don't like my chin, so it helps hide it.

No, but apparently John Travolta does!!

It's crap like this that seriously makes me consider throwing in the towel and leaving this place for good.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 2:52 PM   
 By:   Donna   (Member)

No, but apparently John Travolta does!!

Ray beat me to this one!!

Seriously, I do NOT have a beard.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 3:24 PM   
 By:   Kev McGann   (Member)

Hi, just got back from a few weeks on Mars! What does the John Travolta/beard joke mean?

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 15, 2012 - 6:30 PM   
 By:   Mike_J   (Member)

Every year, around about October, I grow one. It's my winter look, to keep my face warm.

I love that I don't have to shave - I can grow a beard VERY quickly so normally I have to shave a lot. Having a beard gives me at least 10 minutes extra kip in the morning.

The downside is my beard is very gray even though I'm not!

I tend to shave it off around about February time because by then it has become very itchy.

 
 
 Posted:   Jun 16, 2012 - 10:56 AM   
 By:   Graham S. Watt   (Member)

Thanks to all for your advice and views. Oh, and Kev, I've been on Mars for over 20 years, so I don't get the Travolta joke either! Never mind!

Hmmm, yes, nobody seems to have experienced my nightmare vision of finding entire pizzas hiding inside the beard, so I might try it. Just one thing - I take it that those who claim it's great because you don't have to shave and so can stay in bed longer have full "Rasputin" or "Trade Union" beards. I don't want one of those. I don't like that neck-beard sensation, and it would all get knotted up in my eyebrows and nostril hairs and earhole hairs anyway, so I was really thinking of the dapper, dignified trim. But that would still involve shaving the non-beardy bits every day, which is part of why I'm still not totally bowled over by the prospect. Or do you "Gary Oldman in Air Force One"-types allow stubble to appear on your baldy bits? I thought that would sort of defeat the purpose of going for the respectably middle-aged (but modern and charming) facial topiary look.

 
 Posted:   Jun 16, 2012 - 11:19 AM   
 By:   Urs Lesse   (Member)

Yes, at the moment. A big fuck-off Frankie Boyle type. I might take a picture before I shave it off.

Until then here's Frankie with a reasonable approximation (size, not colour).



That one actually looks like John Powell with a fake beard glued to this jaw. wink

 
 Posted:   Jun 16, 2012 - 11:55 AM   
 By:   Jim Phelps   (Member)

I don't like that neck-beard sensation, and it would all get knotted up in my eyebrows and nostril hairs and earhole hairs anyway, so I was really thinking of the dapper, dignified trim.

I grow a decent-looking beard in about two weeks. My fellow FSM He-Men may have differing times. I shave my throat--that sounds weird, but the neck is the back part, right?--Anyway, I find that the throat area is the part that gets itchy due to heat, humidity, etc. I shave that stuff every three days or so, as well as any strays that sprout out above the beardline proper.

(If you have me on Ignore, Graham, then well, just...ignore this.)

 
You must log in or register to post.
  Go to page:    
© 2017 Film Score Monthly. All Rights Reserved.