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Posted: |
Nov 29, 2011 - 8:42 PM
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By: |
dan the man
(Member)
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There was no responses on keeping the daily birthday thread going, so i will laid it to rest in the coffin, but humor is another story, from a booklet i put out on funny lines from film titles , enjoy and maybe you will get a chuckle or two, others have.------------------------------------------------------------------------------World without end-56- Conflict of interest.-------------------------------------------------------------------Dracula Vs Frankenstein-71- get real, Drac in one round.-----------------------------------------------------Corridors of mirrors-47-The house of the man , Carly Simon based her hit song on, Your so vain.----------The dead don't die-75That might be comforting, now if we can only find a way the living won't.-------------Blood of ghastly horror-65- What does that title mean?-----------------------------------------------------Torture garden-67- Did you ever get bored at the botonical gardens?----------------------------------------DR Who and the Daleks-65- Did they ever find out who the doctor was?------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------more to come.
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WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HELEN-71-She lost Troy and it's the bad time of the month----------------------DRAGONFLY-02-the sky is going to be very crowded if they do.----------------------------------------------LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVED DOWN THE LANE-77-Went on to marry Jack the ripper JR.-------------------------RESIDENT EVIL-02-Your mother in law is moving in for 6 months.--------------------------------------------THE 4D MAN-59-As a young kid drove the other kids crazy playing hide and seek.
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THE MAD GHOUL-43-Hare's cousin in crime.---------------------------------------------------------------------THE LOVE BUG-69-Cockaroaches running a dating service for lonely ants and bees.-------------------------THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH-76-88-astronaut on the toilet by mistake pulls the eject button instead of the flush button.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE MAN WITH NINE LIVES-40-President of Purina cat food.-----------------------------------------------THE MAZE-53- Ever look at the map of Boston?--------------------------------------------------------------ESCAPE FROM L.A-All English speaking people.----------------------------------------------------------------
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THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN-57- Typical egotistic politician.-------------------------------------------------HOUSE OF THE DEAD-80-Many people's households on New Year's morning.---------------------------------THE SCHOOL THAT COULDN'T SCREAM-77-They removed the vocal cords from all of the students.-------THE MONSTER MAKER-44-All from Hasbro for $19.99--------------------------------------------------------DEATH RACE 2000-75- The Auto Bahn 24/7------------------------------------------------------------------THE CARS THAT ATE PEOPLE-75-Ford's crazy cousin screwed up again.--------------------------------------KING KONG-33- 76- O5- A new Chinese diner down the block.------------------------------------------------BLAST FROM THE PAST-99-A nice way of explaining a state of vomiting.
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To Josh-glad you are enjoying these original jokes,, i am keeping out the one's that are political, i wish i didn't have to, because i think they are some of the best ones.
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UNCLE WAS A VAMPIRE-61-Yes and my aunt was a witch.-----------------------------------------------------ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES-58-My over 6 feet ex- girlfriends.-------------------------------------------EEGAH-62-My reaction after eating that week old Moo, Goo, Gai, Pan in the refrigerator this morning..-----------------VAMPIRE AND THE BALLERINA-62- performances only at night.--------------------------------------ASTRONAUT'S WIFE-99-She sees stars when they make love.---------------------------------------------SILENT RUNNING-72-Here's a track meet where the runner's feet don't touch the ground.
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FROM EAR TO EAR-71-Is your head.----------------------------------------------------------------------------THE THIRSTY DEAD-75-I would imagine so in that tight coffin.-------------------------------------------------HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER-58-Many parent's who were on the Jerry Springer show sadly learned all about that.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE BIRDS-63- Some people told Hitch-that's who the movie was for.----------------------------------------LAND THAT TIME FORGOT-75- Detroit.---------------------------------------------------------------------------YOG, MONSTER FROM SPACE-70-Goy to you too.
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ALTERED STATES-80-The day my tie got stuck in the washing machine, unfortunately i was wearing it at the time.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------MARS NEED WOMEN-64- They are horny there too.---------------------------------------------------------MANSION OF THE DOOMED-76-the impotent man visiting Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion.-------------------------FOOD OF THE GODS-76- Yes, please order me that cloud in heaven on rye.---------------------------FACE OF TERROR- 62- Did you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and found out your going bald?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------DOOR WITH 7 LOCKS-63- typical home security in the urban cities of America.
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You know my Ex- Girlfriend who lived in a bad part of town in Chicago, has so many locks on her door, by the time she unlocks them, it does not pay for her to go out anymore[ha ha , joke]
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THE NEANDERTHAL MAN-53-i see plenty of them on the subway during rush hour.---------------------------------PANIC IN YEAR ZERO-62-God forgot the formula on how to get the universe create-------------------BELL BOOK AND CANDLE-58-what they have in hotels during blackouts.-------------------------------------COMA-78-The state you might be in after watching the film.--------------------------------------------------DR BUTCHER M.D--82-He's really a hack.----------------------------------------------------------------------QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE-58- So Diana went there too.
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