Why must it be taboo to discuss these things, so long as it is not done with malignancy or deliberate misinformation...?
What I find bothersome (really!) that as a group we might not be able to discuss these without assigning value to them or becoming moralistic about it. These are facts, and they were part of a composers life -- and indeed, might even be reflected in their work.
It's perhaps no small feat, but with them regarding as facts, not as small talk, shouldn't we be able to talk about or even discuss this topic without becoming judgmental?