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 Posted:   Aug 3, 2016 - 10:25 PM   
 By:   Jim Cleveland   (Member)

It took the internet to make me realise just how illiterate most people are. Here's a great example.....

There's this woman on a personals website that I frequent who looks exactly like Al Molinaro(I kid you NOT!)... her first "sentence"(If you can call it that) is as follows (This is a direct copy and paste quote):

"I love to cook clean walks on the beach holding hands and getting to know each other"

I guess she and I have something in common, because I like to cook clean walks on the beach as well! big grinbig grinbig grin

Do any of you have examples? Post them!


 
 Posted:   Aug 3, 2016 - 11:37 PM   
 By:   Josh   (Member)

The Brits would probably say we Yanks have been murdering it for centuries, including replacing the "s" in realise with a "z" (!).

 
 Posted:   Aug 3, 2016 - 11:37 PM   
 By:   Josh   (Member)

Jim, you're the king of "Murdering the English Language!" threads.

Sorry, I needed something to fill this DP.

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 12:14 AM   
 By:   Viscount Bark   (Member)

Why does every other person on the frickin' net spell "lose" as "loose"? It's making me growl ominously every time I see it.

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 12:52 AM   
 By:   Bill Carson, Earl of Poncey   (Member)

With the glaring omission of any commas, i think we have the perfect Man for her on here!!!
Step forward Dan and book your date!
They could go to an italian restaurant who could serve up comma-shaped spaghetti !!!

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 1:53 AM   
 By:   Ian J.   (Member)

'z' in words was in English before U.S. usage. Same with 'fall' as against 'autumn'. So just sometimes it's the 'British' English that has changed, and the U.S. English has retained language elements big grin

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 2:25 AM   
 By:   WILLIAMDMCCRUM   (Member)

The Brits would probably say we Yanks have been murdering it for centuries, including replacing the "s" in realise with a "z" (!).


Strangely enough, although I tend to ignore these things, I was surfing the net recently looking for international reaction on YouTube to the hideous murder of UK Labour politician Jo Cox by a crazed right-wing assassin. I was really appalled by the venomous hatred from both the evil Neo-fascists who affected to approve of said evil act, and by the cynical conspiracy theorists who exploited it for their own cynical fun, to bait the gullible.

I came across one loony who claimed that the chevrons on the ambulances in the news videos were secret signs from some New World Order (yes, that old chestnut) and that this was an evil conspiracy murder. He makes a habit of this sort of cynical nonsense, even trying the same chevron stunt on the news broadcast vids of the little boy killed recently in the Florida swamps. I decided to blast him on his own video thread, it did make me angry. I used the word 'civilised' and his response was that I was a 'dope' who 'didn't even know how to spell 'civilized'! Mind you that gave me wings. He didn't recover from the second blow, though he tried removing the first.

This guy was in the US and from his pic I'd say in his 50s/'60s. There are some unbelievable cretins out there carving their own little internet empires.

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 3:23 AM   
 By:   Metryq   (Member)

"Should of"

Every time I see that, or some variant of it, I'm reminded of the following exchange from the Firefly episode "Objects in Space":

JAYNE
Wha— are you, are you sayin' she's a witch?

WASH
Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast.

JAYNE
She's in Congress?

WASH
How did your brain even learn human speech?

 
 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 4:45 AM   
 By:   Rameau   (Member)

The internet is changing so many things, so why not grammar. No commas, contractions without an apostrophe, no capitals (Mr. Bill C. stand up!). I'm sure a lot of it is people posting from their phones. There's probably a few faults here, my excuse is that I left school at 15. Mind you, read any newspaper with a critical eye (even the posh ones), & the punctuation isn't that great.

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 5:33 AM   
 By:   Amer Zahid   (Member)

Oh heavens! You mans talking about engris on this massage board. Click under the link for more pleasant enjoyment:

www.engrish.com

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 5:36 AM   
 By:   Metryq   (Member)

The internet is changing so many things

Lingua brutus.

 
 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 5:48 AM   
 By:   Rameau   (Member)

The internet is changing so many things

Lingua brutus.


Er...yeah.

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 7:03 AM   
 By:   MusicMad   (Member)

"Should of"

...


That was one of my (many) English grammar, spelling, punctuation et al faults ... until my biology teacher put me right! Now I cringe when I see or hear it.

Another common error I hear too often is, e.g. the nearest of the two cars or, perhaps not so commonly, the bigger of the three houses. That said, a few days ago, I heard a BBC news reporter refer to the greater, when talking about reports of the government's triple lock mechanism re: pensions being up for review. So much for BBC reporters knowing proper English.

And, all too often: the use of apostrophes in pro-nouns, especially It's ... aarrgghh

And the wrong version of their - there - they're.

And yet English is so easy ... I should know: I'm English smile

As for the lack of punctuation, especially in texting ... I do not approve but accept that I'm in a minority and very few care what I think! smile But when the lack of punctuation means the sense of the text ... or anything written ... is compromised then I know I'm right! smile

The boys bikes: one boy or more?

Eats shoots and leaves: are we talking about a panda ... or a gangster (Eats, shoots and leaves)... with gracious acknowledgement to Lynne Truss (see: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Lynne-Truss/dp/0007329067)

And yes, I do use too many exclamation marks (and smiley faces)!

Mitch

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 10:22 AM   
 By:   Bill Carson, Earl of Poncey   (Member)

The internet is changing so many things, so why not grammar. No commas, contractions without an apostrophe, no capitals (Mr. Bill C. stand up!). I'm sure a lot of it is people posting from their phones. There's probably a few faults here, my excuse is that I left school at 15. Mind you, read any newspaper with a critical eye (even the posh ones), & the punctuation isn't that great.

yeahletsjustdoawaywithpunctuationandcommasandwhileweareaboutitletsfuckoffspacesaswell!!wherewillitallend?

The bottom line is it's about communication - why make it hard for people to follow what youre saying?!!
If you want to be understood, keep it simple, clear, concise. It's not against the law.

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 10:45 AM   
 By:   CH-CD   (Member)


I think that GBS, AJL and RH summed it all up, rather nicely? ........

https://youtu.be/jhninL_G3Fg

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 11:33 AM   
 By:   Justin Boggan   (Member)

I find horrible things on Craigslist all the time, locally. I don't expect everybody to be English majors, but at least make an effort and capitalize proper nouns. It seems I ask way way, way too much.

There's a pre-school here looking for a three year old teacher. I think that may be a little young to be teaching other kids!

Then there a lady who posted an ad offering her services, in the wrong section. She posted in the Jobs section. There are two different places she could have posted that would have been correct (Services and Resumes) but she couldn't even get that part right. Then she went on to post how she was intelligent, yet her ad was riddled with errors, including one on her business card -- a quote in the banner decoration, which made no sense that I could discern.

 
 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 11:59 AM   
 By:   James MacMillan   (Member)

Most recently I've noticed so much mis-use of the word UNIQUE. Even the BBC are at it now. "Quite unique", "Really unique", "Absolutely unique", etc etc.

Stop it! Unique is unique and can only be - UNIQUE.

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 1:19 PM   
 By:   Metryq   (Member)

Most recently I've noticed so much mis-use of the word UNIQUE.

Literally.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
—Inigo Montoya (You kill my language. Prepare to die.)

 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 1:31 PM   
 By:   jackfu   (Member)

Oops! Thought this was another poll; I was gonna vote in favor.
Wish we could have a “phonetic” alphabet (at least for American English) in which letters only have one sound each. It can be tough on young children learning to read when there are so many variations. Read is reed or red, war rhymes with wore, but other _ar words rhyme with bar, etc.
As Commish of American English I would ban the use of silent letters and fire the letters C and Q.
Funny how some old signage in my area still has V instead of U (“Chvrch”).

 
 
 Posted:   Aug 4, 2016 - 1:36 PM   
 By:   Rameau   (Member)

Most recently I've noticed so much mis-use of the word UNIQUE. Even the BBC are at it now. "Quite unique", "Really unique", "Absolutely unique", etc etc.

Stop it! Unique is unique and can only be - UNIQUE.


I don't really have a problem with that. Thinking about it, unique is a redundant word anyway, in that everything's unique, there's not two things exactly the same in the whole universe.

 
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