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If you're trying to vanquish them, I'd agree with the "make sure they have no food, water or shelter on your property" idea.
A new thought: this won't work unless your neighbors are "on board". If they're feeding them, then your home is just a convenient place to stay.
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Jehannum, it would be great if you edited your comment. It's rude and unnecessary regardless of your feelings on the subject.
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I have a friend who used to eat squirrels. I got more into TV dinners later on.
Moving is not the answer, in fact that's a silly suggestion; people have money and time put into homes and simply selling a home, especially when many people (in the U.S.) are under with no recovery or have homes so devalued they'd lose money by selling it now. And then homes aren't exactly selling like hotcakes right now. You don't up-end your life becausze of squirrels, you up-end their lives.
Alternatively, may I suggest some work arounds:
House (in sheds or what not) things you wouldn't want chewed threw. Build or higher somone to build little wooden squirrel houses, to maybe have them reconsider chewing into your house to live there. Be careful of size and placing though, as Blue birds have a modern trait where they will actually look for and move in to bird houses made for them -- it's odd -- they've evolved to know people will build houses for them.
And the fun alternative: birds of prey. Get one, train it, let it own your backyard and trees. I've seen one before at work. A big bird that I thought had a cat, but in reality it had a squirrel, curled it up in a "U" shape and flew off with it. I'm sure they'd go for racoons, too.
And by the way, people think of dachshunds as helpless weiner dogs, but they can hunt and kill racoons.
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How about divide and rule?
Find that fkn rodent charlie bronson who sabotaged the gas pipes and offer him two acorns for every squirrel scalp he leaves on the porch?
No one gives a toss about squirrel-on-squirrel violence!!
Thats it - an acorn bounty on their mop tops n pointy ears??!
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Usual poxy phone.
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Posted: |
Jul 30, 2015 - 5:12 PM
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By: |
edwzoomom
(Member)
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OK.
Y'all have had quite a bit of fun, mocking my previous post.
I used to adore squirrels.
Then I purchased a home with a back yard full of them.
I fed them peanuts.
I thought they were such cute little critters.
I wanted to live in peace with them.
But…NOOO!!!
The squirrels gnawed their way INTO my home!
They tore into my balcony wall and invaded my home!
Every time one of them came in, I caught it and put it outdoors again.
This went on for months, until the evening when I walked onto my back porch to grill steaks for dinner. I lit my gas grill, and it EXPLODED in my face! Seriously. MY BEARD WAS ON FIRE!
After I cleaned myself up, I examined my gas grill. The squirrels had chewed holes in the gas line. That was my moment of truth. It was either them, or me.
I bought the HAV-A HEART trap. I trapped over one hundred squirrels, and drove each of them across the Susquehanna River and placed them in a wooded area.
When I had repaired my gas grill, and they TRIED TO KILL ME a second time, I began drowning them on the premises.
Sorry, fellas.
Mock me all you like.
You sick cunt.
I hope the squirrels achieve their objective.
Of all the borderline disgusting comments I have read here over time, none of them have offended me as a woman and an FSM member as yours. I have a son in his early 20s and he has used some colorful language but once told me that this word was too offensive for him to use. My son is a classy young man, you are not.
I am surprised and a bit sad that no one aside from David backed me up on this.
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I am surprised and a bit sad that no one aside from David backed me up on this.
No, I agree. The C-word was completely inappropriate to express what Jehannum was trying to say. It doesn't make sense to demean women in a context which has nothing to do with them. Or to bring in any kind of sexual insult, for that matter. Jehannum was just angry, I guess.
Also, I don't think it was especially terrible for Christopher to defend his home against varmints. I'm sure he took no pleasure in it.
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Posted: |
Jul 30, 2015 - 7:20 PM
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By: |
edwzoomom
(Member)
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Of all the borderline disgusting comments I have read here over time, none of them have offended me as a woman and an FSM member as yours. I have a son in his early 20s and he has used some colorful language but once told me that this word was too offensive for him to use. My son is a classy young man, you are not.
I am surprised and a bit sad that no one aside from David backed me up on this.
This is my first ( and last ) visit to the thread and that choice of phrase did leave me a bit taken aback, too. i think some members are just considering the source, but that doesn't justify it. I've used some raw, salty language in my day but, that's one I've not used before. David is right, the comment should be edited.
Although it wasn't me, let me apologize for the choice of words used. I'm very sorry you were understandably offended.
Thank you Mike. I have no idea who the source is. You guys are more familiar with members than I am in that regard. Your apology is sincere and appreciated. I am not a Pollyanna and have used my fair share of "oh my" language in my life but this is scraping the barrel of crude. Anyway, I don't want to drag it on. Thank you again.
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Jehannum,
Just three posts above your infantile remark lies the finale to my story.
Obviously you did not happen to read it.
Page four, fifth post from the top.
Please do your homework next time.
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"Chris reminds me of Bill Murray in Caddyshack, going to war with the gophers! Ha ha."
Bill…that is exactly who and what I was thinking of the entire time!
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I am surprised and a bit sad that no one aside from David backed me up on this.
Well, I did, just not verbally. I reported it.
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Cant find it on the net to post here but check out the Larson cartoon of a mum and son in the kitchen.
Shes at the sink and the kid is sitting at the table.
Caption reads, paraphrasing, the mum saying...
"Go out and rescue your Grandfather, Timothy - the squirrels have got him again!"
(...And through the window you can see this old boy being pulled into a tree by about five squirrels!!)
Always one of my fave Larsons - among many.
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I am surprised and a bit sad that no one aside from David backed me up on this.
What happened with me, E:
Some things that happen are so heinous or alarming that I feel shocked into submission, as I did here. I don't respond also because the situation is so far from normal that I feel sure that authority will recognize it. Soon enough, David Sones did so.
But saying something when I noticed it would have been more helpful, I admit.
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