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Posted: |
Apr 1, 2014 - 11:44 AM
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By: |
fisch
(Member)
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TUESDAY, APRIL 1
STAR WARS: EPISODE VII---JJ Abrams confirmed the long-awaited sequel plot involves the grandchildren of Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo journeying to Tatooine where Jar Jar Binks was carbon-frozen to keep the galaxy safe from the annoying Gungan. The Empire plans to thaw Jar Jar out and issue an ultimatum to the galaxy---surrender or a modified Death Star will beam constant 3D broadcasts of Jar Jar into the homes of all the galaxy's inhabitants where they will suffer never-ending mental and physical agony.
STAR TREK: ATTACK OF THE TRILLION TRIBBLES---latest Trek movie has the starship ENTERPRISE responding to a distress signal from the Federation research station on Altoid 8. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Uhuru, Sulu and Chekov beam down to discover the wrecked research facility where the lone surviving scientist is Kirk's former beautiful girlfriend and Starfleet Academy classmate who tells him Altoid 8 is inhabited by a trillion bloodthirsty furry creatures called Tribbles who are reproducing at a rapid rate. They intend to takeover the ENTERPRISE and repopulate the galaxy with their own deadly species. Kirk and his former lover rekindle their relationship to stop the terrible Tribble invasion
DOWNLOAD TO DIE---producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson announced the next James Bond movie will be another reboot in order to cash in on the lucrative US market and its hip young audience.
The reboot movie will bring back Bond villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld and SPECTRE. The plot has Blofeld hiring a brilliant and beautiful MIT dropout to upload a program into a hijacked Chinese satellite which will transmit subliminal signals to all social networking websites. This will hypnotize millions of internet users into becoming SPECTRE followers which results in an new world order with Blofeld as their leader. Bond must seduce the MIT dropout and persuade her to help him in stopping Blofeld's quest for world domination.
Director Sam Mendes said his top candidates with US audience appeal to play the new 007 are George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mike Myers, Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise and Justin Bieber. The top candidates to be the new Bond Girl are Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Elizabeth Hurley, Charlize Theron, Emma Watson and Katy Perry.
LOG CABIN FEVER---zombie movie underway in which a group of gorgeous coeds vacation in a remote log cabin in the woods of Vermont unaware that industrial waste from a shuttered chemical plant has contaminated the syrup in the maple trees. They are soon under attack by hordes of local residents who have eaten the tainted maple syrup on their pancakes which turned them into rabid murderous zombies who now want to eat more than just pancakes. Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn and Aunt Jemima star
THE BEVERLY HILLS HORROR---movie underway in which a successful young couple and their young son move into their luxurious dream home in Beverly Hills. They are unaware of the unspeakable horrors which haunt the mansion. The spirits of a wealthy oilman, his mother-in-law, daughter and nephew, who committed mass suicide because they were unable to adjust to living in Beverly Hills after moving from the mountains of Tennessee, unleash terror on the unsuspecting family. Their four-year-old son son is possessed by an entity that brags about his sixth-grade education and his ambition to become a double-naught spy. The father, realizing his son is possessed by an evil spirit, says, "One of these days I gotta have a looong talk with that boy."
WAR OF THE WORLDS: THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE---CBS 2014 miniseries sequel to the 1988 tv series sequel to the 1953 movie which was based on the 1897 HG Wells novel. The miniseries has an ex-SEAL, who received the Medal of Honor and suffers from PTSD after three tours in Afghanistan, is recalled to duty to lead an elite special ops team to a remote island in the Bermuda Triangle. The team is composed of a silent Native American tracker, a hip Afro-American demolitions expert, a brilliant Asian computer expert and a tough female Hispanic sniper. The special ops team must penetrate an underground laboratory where the Martians are creating a giant, genetically-engineered monster that will destroy Cape Canaveral to prevent the US from launching Space Marines to Mars to retaliate against the Martian invasion in 1953. The SEAL must reunite with his estranged wife, a Harvard-educated cryptobiologist who is the world's leading expert on genetically-engineered Martian mutant monsters. Lorenzo Lamas and Denise Richards star.
SHARKNADO VS. JAWS VS. JAWS---the latest Syfy Sharknado movie has a freak weather front raining torrents of bloodthirsty sharks on Amity Island where they battle with a giant shark, the grandson of the original great white shark that terrorized the fishing town in 1975, for feeding rights on the local residents. The town's leaders, afraid that tourists will be frightened off by being bloody shark food, bring in a retired British secret agent, a beautiful former KGB agent and their giant companion, Jaws, who has steel-coated teeth and is a known shark-killer. Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Richard Kiel and Ron Jaworski star.
AMERICA'S MOST DISGUSTING HOME VIDEOS---ABC reboot of its AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS reality series. The reboot will have viewers submit home videos of themselves committing the most disgusting, vile and degrading acts with the winner receiving a $1 million prize and an appearance on the next Barbara Walters tv special. The judges are Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Kris Jenner.
I LOVE LUCY McGILLICUDDY---CBS reboot of the classic tv series I LOVE LUCY is underway. Set in present day Hollywood, Ricky Ricardo is a talented, but illegal, Mexican immigrant who seeks fame and fortune in showbiz. He and his zany girlfriend Lucy move into an apartment building owned by retired vaudeville dancers Fred and Ginger. Ricky struggles to attain stardom while enduring Lucy's madcap misadventures and avoiding pursuing Federal immigration agents. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr star.
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Posted: |
Apr 1, 2014 - 6:20 PM
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By: |
Olivier
(Member)
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SHARKNADO VS. JAWS VS. JAWS---the latest Syfy Sharknado movie has a freak weather front raining torrents of bloodthirsty sharks on Amity Island where they battle with a giant shark, the grandson of the original great white shark that terrorized the fishing town in 1975, for feeding rights on the local residents. The town's leaders, afraid that tourists will be frightened off by being bloody shark food, bring in a retired British secret agent, a beautiful former KGB agent and their giant companion, Jaws, who has steel-coated teeth and is a known shark-killer. Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Richard Kiel and Ron Jaworski star.
This was the best one.
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