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Posted: |
Aug 10, 2018 - 5:59 AM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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Here's an ode to junk food, if you will, that was inspired by some delightful banter by Jim Phelps, BillCarson, et.al., on another thread. Since this is the repository for our poetry efforts, I thought I'd drag it over.
https://www.filmscoremonthly.com/board/posts.cfm?threadID=104821&forumID=7&archive=0&pageID=11&r=972#bottom
Mars Bar Breakfast (To the tune of The Hollies' "Bus Stop": Gouldman) New lyrics by Jim Phelps, BillCarson, Jackfu
Early morning,
I’m still yawning,
Need a snack with some zest.
Mars bar there lay,
“Oh, no!”, Wife say,
“Don’t eat that for breakfast!”
I just needed something with a
Sweet, sweet kick to gnosh;
Sweet tooth sated, now ill-fated,
But it feels good, by gosh!
All that day I had a craving,
Wanting good, bad food,
To help my mood,
And top it off with some cold beer.
I know it ain’t right,
I really should eat something light;
Someday my tombstone
Will read “’Junk Food Jim’ Lies Here”.
Caramel and sweet milk choc’late,
Too good to eschew;
Now for dinner, fat pork ribs;
Straight from the bar-b-que!
I’m so full
I think I could bust!
But, one more Mars bar for me.
Fat and jolly, oh by golly “And a
Heart attack for tea”!
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Posted: |
Aug 10, 2018 - 9:06 AM
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By: |
joan hue
(Member)
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Nice Ode, Jackfu. Junk food Joan resides here. Have to have a chocolate feast every day.
I got a birthday card a while back that read in this form the following:
"There comes
a time when you
have to take
it seriously.
No smoking,
regular exercise,
gluten free,
multivitamin,
yoga,
no carbs,
low sugar,
probiotics,
meditation,
boot camp,
no alcohol,
flax see,
vegan,
locally grown
lifestyle."
Then you open the card and inside it reads.
"Good luck of not dying
of f*****g boredom.
Happy Birthday."
Maybe people who are not bored live longer. 
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Joan
Jackfu did very well putting those all words before my fantastic pay-off line!
Ps i liked the card. Dats funnee.
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Posted: |
Aug 10, 2018 - 11:25 AM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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I hereby request that jackfu write a poem called "Threadcrapper", which could be recited to the Cat Stevens song, "Moonshadow."
I love Jim's request. Jackfu, get on it!
Great idea, Jim! As you wish, hope you enjoy. 
"Threadcrappers" - Inspired by Jim Phelps and Joan Hue; "Seagulls" comment, courtesy Tom Maguire.
To the tune of "Moonshadow" (Stevens)
Threadcrappers
Yes, I’m so annoyed by the Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers.
Pestered and p*ssed off by the Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers!
They act like seagulls at the beach; crap on every thread they reach.
They’re just like seagulls at the beach; oh, le la da, de-de, de-de-de-de;
Wish they wouldn’t post no more!
Oh, when I name a fav’rite score, they say that it is such a bore!
Those b*st*rds slam my fav’rite score! Oh, le la da, de-de, de-de-de-de;
Wish they’d go away for sure!
Yes, I’m gettin’ tired of the Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers.
Wish I could just nuke those gosh-d*mned Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers!
They mock and troll us constantly; act like a-holes for all to see!
They never post positively, oh, le la da, de-de, de-de-de-de;
Wish they would just hit the door!
And if I could get them right here, I’d give them good reason to fear!
I’d make them all cry in their beer! Oh, le la da, de-de, de-de-de-de;
Wish they’d all just drop…
Do they think that they’re funny? I don’t hear no laughter, no!
Do they think they are clever? Pack up yer sh*t and go!
Wish I could get rid of the Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers.
Can’t they get a hint, we hate the Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers!
Threadcrappers, Threadcrappers!
Edit: For those whom aren't familiar - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag4NhsfemvE
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Posted: |
Aug 11, 2018 - 4:53 PM
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By: |
Jehannum
(Member)
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I could stroke her hair and she’d not sigh
I could say her name and she’d not stir
Like a past and wistful lie
Returned to haunt night’s blur
No tremulous breaths amidst her lips
All worry’s furrows filled
As though she drank from a golden cup
A thousand joys distilled
Sleep, sleep my darling
Sleep, my love
Don’t weep, my angel
I’m watching from above
Close your eyes, do pictures form?
Relax your mind, does music play?
Dream your dreams, do they fill you
With enchantment through the day
Cry your tears, do they well unseen?
Write your words, does their pathos shine?
Love your loves, do they disappear
In echoing laughter, as do mine?
I could cup her cheek and she’d not cry
I could kiss her brow and she’d not smile
Like a naïve, foolish dream
Freed from old exile
No troubled spasms clasp her hands
Her unseen eyes are wide
As though she lay in a perfect land
Where only love abides
Sleep, sleep my sweetheart
Sleep, my love
Don’t weep, my angel
I’ll watch you from above
Does your heart beat in sympathy
To the sound of a certain symphony?
Do you feel close to fainting
At the sight of a certain painting?
Is every mirror a two-way affair?
Do you see their faces as your brush your hair?
Deep in the centre, hold your stare
Focus your senses, you’ll see me there
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Posted: |
Aug 17, 2018 - 12:31 PM
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By: |
jackfu
(Member)
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Disney Star Wars (To the tune of "Dixie", Emmett(?))
I wish Star Wars was still good old story telling, now the plots, like crap, are smelling!
Go away! Go away! Go away, Disney ‘Wars!
JJ took a good thing and he made it crappy, but the studio’s still happy!
Go away! Go away! Go away, Disney ‘Wars!
Makes me wish there were no Disney Star Wars, Star Wars!
Cause in Disney Land, they take a brand and crap it up like Jawas.
Away! Away! Away with Disney Star Wars!
Away! Away! Away with Disney Star Wars!
They changed Luke Skywalker into just an old Fart, like some greeter at a Walmart!
Go away! Go away! Go away, Disney ‘Wars!
Ditched Han like he was just some ol’ worn out space junk; tried to make us care about some space punk!
Go away! Go away! Go away, Disney ‘Wars!
Makes me wish there were no Disney Star Wars, Star Wars!
Just let Episode IX rot on the vine, don’t give us no more Star Wars!
Away! Away! Away with Disney Star Wars!
Away! Away! Away with Disney Star Wars!
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