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I've been fixing my grand daughter's hair for as long as she's been alive, 5 years. I've never once felt like I had to punch anything, after.
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Posted: |
Nov 16, 2013 - 5:55 PM
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By: |
Rexor
(Member)
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To me the article seems flawed. I just don't see how "Masculinity is killing me (and the rest of my gender)."
"A study on masculinity and aggression from the University of South Florida found that innocuous – yet feminine – tasks could produce profound anxiety in men. As part of the study, a group of men were asked to perform a stereotypically feminine act – braiding hair in this case - while a control group braided rope. Following the act, the men were given the option to either solve a puzzle or punch a heavy bag. Not surprisingly, the men who performed the task that threatened their masculinity were far more likely to punch the bag; again, violence serving as a way to reestablish their masculine identity.
Studies and the conclusions they come to can be useless... If I was doing something I didn't want to do (braiding hair), I would get anxious and it would be harder to concentrate and to do mental tasks. So, if I was then given the option to solve a puzzle or do a physical task, like hitting a bag or doing a sprint, I'd do the latter because it would help me to relieve stress and anxiety. Conversely, if I was given the option to listen to music, I would listen to film scores and classical music because it would help me to relieve anxiety and to soothe the unfair savage beast known as life.
A follow-up had both groups punch the bag after braiding either hair or rope; the men who braided the hair punched the bag much harder. A third experiment, all the participants braided hair, but were split into two groups: those who got to punch the bag afterwards and those who didn’t. The men who were prevented from punching the bag started to show acute signs of anxiety and distress from not being able to reconfirm their masculinity.
I would say that my choices to hit and run (along with my choice of music) has nothing to do with using "violence as a way to establish my masculine identity" Wtf. I am a man. I do what I want to do and what I have to do (ex. work  ). So, I cry at the movies. I shop. I air conduct in public. If I was in a study where other participants got to listen to "just released" Book Thief soundtrack, and I could only watch, I would develop acute signs of anxiety and distress. I would feel the testosterone in my blood ... It has nothing to do with me trying to reconfirm my masculinity.
It’s that precariousness – the ease of which one’s perceived manhood can be taken away that has profound physical and mental effects on men. The constant state of being on guard wears away at the body and spirit, contributing to numerous health issues. The stress and constant need to reassert one’s masculinity has been linked to hypertension, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem as well as an increased propensity for violence.
I just cant agree with the conclusions reached about reasserting one's masculinity. If someone did physically take away my manhood, by castrating me like a cat, I would probably get depressed, anxious, etc., but it doesn't mean that I would have an increased propensity for violence. Speaking of violence and rape, the article says
"Because being a man means never showing weakness, men are even less likely to report their rape to the authorities than women. Being assaulted – being made somebody’s bitch – is the ultimate sign of having your masculinity stripped away from you and most victims can barely process the humiliation that comes with that.
If I got sent to prison and someone dicked me up the ass with no grease, I'd try to forgot about it just like tons of other male and female rape victims. That's just human nature... other factors could be at play. Maybe, since I can never experience the pain of child birth, I didn't have the fortitude to report the crime.
But seriously, when I was in high school, I wrestled, and I got beat up by tons of people. I was "verbally assaulted" by coaches. Did that make me unhealthy and more violent? No, but it made a man. It built character. It taught me about life and how to deal with things.
The main problem I have with being "masculine" is that it robs people of the ability to be completely candid and honest with others. Now I just need to curb my tendency of trying to force my ideals on everyone else (despite how right the article is).
Stop being a -itch. Man up. Force your ideals on me. Come on. Honestly, where should I start. Jonathan Martin? Mike Rice? Cross-dressing? Social Security? The Affordable Healthcare Act? Parents who beat their children?
-Rex
PS: Thank God for the Serenity Prayer, Jesus, and Josh's reply!
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My apologies, fellas.
In my post, I shared the truth about my life.
I did not consider that speaking of my personal experience constituted "preaching."
I'm not shoving anything down anybody's throat, and I'm not trying to win converts here.
I simply offered my view on masculinity.
Storyteller uses a photo of a figure bowing before a cross, and nobody seems to care, but when I mention that name, I offend some of you.
So, I won't mention it again.
I've altered my post, and have removed the offensive content.
Again…my apologies.
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Thanks, Solium!
GREAT comedy relief timing!
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Posted: |
Nov 18, 2013 - 11:33 AM
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By: |
BobJ
(Member)
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My apologies, fellas.
In my post, I shared the truth about my life.
I did not consider that speaking of my personal experience constituted "preaching."
I'm not shoving anything down anybody's throat, and I'm not trying to win converts here.
I simply offered my view on masculinity.
Storyteller uses a photo of a figure bowing before a cross, and nobody seems to care, but when I mention that name, I offend some of you.
So, I won't mention it again.
I've altered my post, and have removed the offensive content.
Again…my apologies.
Don't even give it a second thought Chris. As long as taking Jesus name in vain is allowed here, referencing Him from the bible is too.
Can't have it both ways kids.
*fixed as I cannot spell. 
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Thanks, Storyteller.
I deeply appreciate your support.
I hadn't realized that I would have to tread quite so lightly around here...
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I wouldn't have altered my post, at all. Talk about masculinity failing men. All these "men" getting the vapors over the mention of Jesus in a post. Pansies!
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As long as taking Jesus name in vein is allowed here, referencing Him from the bible is too.
Can't have it both ways kids.
'In vein' .... is this some sort of intravenous Messianic thing? I didn't know you could do that. Is it available on the National Health? Must be some other sort of bible you're referencing there.
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Seriously fellas, put aside your preconceptions about 'self-help' books, and go read Robert Bly's 'Iron John', a delightful little tome about the many aspects and ramifications of masculinity.
If you keep stereotyping the masculine as King Kong, without all the modifications of chivalry, ethics, the Apollonic, the Dionysian, the Mercurial, the spiritual, then you'll all feel guilty about not being a gorilla. Even an athlete has to be elegant ,,, in his movements etc..
People who say they aren't comfortable with their masculinity generally go on to describe some strange warped refraction that is really just ape-bull-animality. That is not the full deal, gents.
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I've been fixing my grand daughter's hair for as long as she's been alive, 5 years. I've never once felt like I had to punch anything, after.
Yes, that's another weird one. If some stunning Aphrodite emerged from the sea and asked you to braid her hair, I'd say most guys' masculinity would be grinning from ear to ear at the very prospect.
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I hadn't realized that I would have to tread quite so lightly around here...
Are we allowed to discuss that Christmas is coming soon? I mean that's a religious celebration, and if you're getting rebuked for mentioning Jesus...
We exist in a world gone mad. Everyone just loves being victimized over nothing.
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