Thanksgiving Movie Weekend Roundup
The Aisle Seat by Andy Dursin
[Note from Lukas: We're a day short of our regular programming content,
so here's Andy Dursin's latest Aisle Seat entry, also archived
in his section.]
*ANOTHER WEEKEND DISASTER
And you thought this SUMMER was bad? The Thanksgiving '97 crop of Hollywood
releases has seen just as many turkeys appearing in multiplexes as there
were on dinner tables across America last Thursday--highlighted by a pair
of the season's biggest duds.
First off, I didn't see FLUBBER with Robin WIlliams, but after reading
the slew of one-star reviews it received, not to mention Williams's past
two disasters (the awful JACK and FATHER'S DAY), you'd have to lock me
up and drag me to the theater to sit through this needless remake. What
a surprise, too--Williams has been choosing truly bad projects of late,
and has given less-than-exemplary performances in all of them. Here, consensus
has it that Williams is thoroughly obnoxious as he attempts to downplay
a role that Fred MacMurray played with genuine heart the first time around.
With special FX substituting for real charm, FLUBBER seems to be a major
flub indeed. (MEMO TO JOHN HUGHES: you once made heartwarming teen and
adult comedies with real screenplays brimming with clever dialogue and
insightful dramatic situations. Remember those? PRETTY IN PINK, FERRIS
BUELLER'S DAY OFF, THE BREAKFAST CLUB, PLANES TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES,
CHRISTMAS VACATION, etc. etc. I know you have been raking in the cash with
movies like this, 101 DALMATIONS, and the HOME ALONE sequels, but do us
all--and yourself--a favor and go back to making material that you actually
are interested in, OK?). [Memo to Andy: this thing still made 30+ million
this weekend. -LK]
*IN THEATERS
ALIEN RESURRECTION (*1/2): One of the cardinal sins in producing any
film--not just the fourth installment in a popular sci-fi series--is having
unsympathetic, under-developed characters starring in your movie. The reason
is simple--if you ask the audience to follow them around in life-or-death
circumstances (and give a damn about what happens to them), you'd best
provide them with protagonists worth caring about.
Alas, writer Joss Whedon violated that old stand-by with his script
for this, a haphazard and genuinely disappointing sequel mismash that,
under the direction of Jean-Pierre Jeunet (CITY OF LOST CHILDREN), often
comes across as a tiresome carnival freakshow starring mutant Aliens and
Sigourney Weaver.
You've probably read the summary by now: the military wants to use the
aliens for medicinal/military purposes (or so we assume, since it's never
really made clear), so they clone the species the only way they know how--by
using Ripley's DNA, which also brings Ellen Ripley back to life....sort
of...along with another Alien Queen (this doesn't make any sense, since
the Alien Queen was out of Ripley's body by the time she hit the boiling
pit at the end of the preceding film, but hey, who nobody will ever notice,
right?). This version of Ripley features few of her heroic traits, and
instead spends most of the time vamping around with bad nail polish and
a "don't screw with me" attitude that must have lit Sigourney's
dramatic fire, but doesn't work at all for us viewers. A group of smugglers
board the military ship, where the aliens escape and start a rampage to
get to Earth....and, oh heck, what's the use?
I've thought a lot about this movie since having seen it on opening
day, and it strikes me that--although the characters aren't sympathetic
at all--this is a case of a below-par script having been badly directed.
Jeunet obviously hasn't a clue how to stage an action sequence, as evidenced
by the poorly choreographed climactic "chase" or even the supposedly
horrifying underwater battle, which is somewhat effective but really should
have been a far more elaborate set-piece along the lines of Cameron's ALIENS
action sequences. More disturbingly, Jeunet stresses, time after time,
the truly repellent elements in Whedon's script--the Ripley "clones"
and the laughable "Newborn" at the finale, which feels like a
bad idea right from the get-go. He wallows in the goo and gore like nobody
else has in this series, and successfully sustains a completely unpleasant
tone from beginning to end. It's like watching ALIEN 3 again, just with
more disgusting images (and lots of saliva). While the ALIENS series shouldn't
be sunny and bright, parts one and two were captivating on a fun, amusement
park ride level--they were scary and filled with shocks, but never dwelled
in excess gross-outs. Here, Jeunet has made an ALIEN movie that's right
in tune with the distorted, nightmarish world of THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN,
and, at least for most viewers, that isn't going to be a good thing. It's
more of a twisted nightmare with bad make-up than a dramatically sound
or truly riveting scarefest. Subsequently, it follows that it's a tough
movie to endure, despite being the shortest entry in the series.
Whedon shouldn't totally be left off the hook, however. For the second
straight time, the screenwriter has made the key mistake of killing off
the primary secondary characters of any possible interest (Charles Dance
in ALIEN 3, and Michael Wincott and Dan Hedaya here), and filled the screen
with bubble-headed thugs whose personalities are undernurished in the script.
Sigourney is OK, I guess, but this film really reeks of having been developed
with the allmighty dollar in mind; how else to explain Winona Ryder appearing
in this movie, in a totally uninteresting character and, subsequently,
completely uninteresting performance. I doubt the public will be going
along with their little scheme, however, since the movie offers few shocks,
very little surprises, and poor make-up effects (by the same guys who did
ALIEN 3). And as for John Frizzell's lame, monotonous, flavorless music,
it underlines, and undermines, the action in nearly every scene.
One point ought to be made about this series before, and if, any further
installments are made--it seems that Fox, and Weaver, have attempted to
make more out of this series than it really is. After all, what ALIEN is
all about is an insect-like creature that breeds in a disgusting way, goes
through puberty rapidly, and wipes people out. It doesn't "talk,"
doesn't possess any other functions, just chases its intended victims around
until the humans find enough resources to destroy it. The original ALIEN
was a well-written film with thoroughly developed characters, yet it had
a plot right out of any '50s sci-fi matinee feature--nevertheless, it became
a classic because of Ridley Scott's direction, H.R. Giger's creature design,
strong performances, and the eerie interplanatary setting. James Cameron's
ALIENS upped the ante by having a group of Marines combat not just one
creature but an entire horde of them; its action sequences and relentless
tone produced an incredible rollercoaster ride of thrills and chills. We
saw what one creature did in the original (and ALIEN manipulated the audience
in its elimination of the characters one-by-one as much as it could have),
and ALIENS did all it could in seeing how terrifying an entire swarm of
the xenomorphs really are.
By the time we get to ALIEN 3 and this film, it's obvious that Fox has
totally misunderstood where the heart of this franchise actually lies--promoting
it (as they have with this film) by touting its "cutting edge"
appeal through the use of directors with an artistic agenda who don't know
how to make an effective genre film, and by concentrating on the Ripley
character instead of more challenging settings where the Aliens could become
a viable menace. David Fincher's ALIEN-cubed was often pretentious in depicting
Ripley's "Joan of Arc" heroics, while it completely neglected
to elicit any chills from viewers--it was about as scary as THE CREATURE
FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, since we saw the alien creeping up on its victims
in virtually every scene! ALIEN RESURRECTION doesn't work either, since
it never gives us any "hide your eyes" scares, just a lot of
gore and pathetic plot developments that once again attempt to put a "new
wave" spin on a series whose title creature is actually closer at
heart to IT! THE CREATURE FROM BEYOND SPACE than any of Jean-Pierre Jenuet's
previous films.
By the time you get to this picture's excruitating ending--complete
with Ripley looking at the opening sequence from HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN (you'll
know it when you see it)--you may well agree that this is a case where
Sigourney, and the series, were better off dead. (108 mins., R)
*SOUNDTRACK QUICK TAKES
TOMORROW NEVER DIES (****): Dare I call it an instant classic? After
hearing Eric Serra thoroughly botch all that is musically 007 in GOLDENEYE,
David Arnold has done what few composers in the history of this series
have ever accomplished--namely, write a completely successful Bond score
that's mock-John Barry one moment and filled with driving action the next.
All you have to do is listen to the album's opening score track, "White
Knight," to know soundtrack fans are in for a treat--the judicious
use of the 007 theme (in a "classic" Bond style) are complimented
by an effective use of the opening brass motif from Barry's FROM RUSSIA
WITH LOVE main title!
The remainder of the score works extremely well, with frenetic action
a la Arnold's earlier works (though dialed down several notches from the
over-the-top bombast of INDEPENDENCE DAY) and blaring brass making you
think Barry was once again behind the podium. When the score tries to "modernize"
like Serra did, at least it mixes a driving synth bass and percussion with
Arnold's orchestra (the pulsating "Backseat Driver," one of the
best pure "action" cues in several years), deftly incorporating
both the Bond theme and Arnold's own, superb original material that can
also be prominently heard on K.D. Lang's dynamite ballad "Surrender,"
complete with Don Black lyrics! This tune is more than worthy of comparisons
with Barry in its infectious melody and blaring horn arrangement, and since
Lang belts it out like Shirley Bassey, you're sure to get several genuine
"retro" jolts from it, the kind we haven't felt out of a Bond
score since maestro Barry departed the series in 1987 (and indeed, this
score is more interesting than THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS, and the song itself
superior to many of the average Barry tunes from the post-1970 era).
Alas, the weakest link--the ONLY shortcoming with the music--is Sheryl
Crow's distressingly unmemorable "Tomorrow Never Dies" title
song. Not only is it stylistically at odds with the rest of the music (with
a bass and piano backing, it comes across more like a Ô50s jukebox
oldie than a Bond theme), but there's not a captivating melodic hook anywhere
to be found (and good luck attempting to comprehend Crow's lyrics!). Otherwise,
this is great stuff--Arnold shows a thorough understanding of the "Bond
sound" and pays proper respect and tribute to his predecessors all
the way through, while still adding enough of his own voice. It's the most
satisfying non-Barry Bond score yet composed, more musically stimulating
than LICENCE TO KILL and won't become as dated in the same manner that
THE SPY WHO LOVED ME or LIVE & LET DIE have. Needless to say, it's
also one of the year's few "must-have" soundtracks, recommended
for Bond fans of all ages. (A&M, 15 tracks, 53:59)
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